I used to fear changing my mind about things...
I worried I would offend other people if I did, or somehow feel like I had failed if I had committed to something and couldn’t follow through on it.

But we are always allowed to change our mind, anytime and for any reasonNow I still don’t like it! And try my best not too..

I make sure that before I commit to something (either to myself or in my work or to other people), I check in with myself. 
I ask "do I want to do this?" or "do I need to do this?"

If it’s to people please, keep the peace or simply a «nja ok sure» I politely decline. And if I make a mistake or i have over committed and I cant follow through, I apologise and change my mind ~ because its allowed.

Sometimes others get sad or offended when we set a boundary and say no.. thats ok. But we still get to honour our own needs first! Again, I try to be as honest and open to start with, but allowing myself to make mistakes and change my mind, is a huge part of allowing myself to grow and learn

When I do, I find I spend more time doing the things I love and that bring me joy, and it rubs off into every aspect of my life win win for everyone in my life too

So if you’ve started your week and you’ve overcommitted or find yourself feeling too stressed or tired to do certain things you don’t really want or really need to do...
Remember its ok to change your mind and choose differently

Personally, I have felt so overwhelmed for a few days so this has been an important reminder...

It has meant moving some planned things until next week and taking a wellness week for myself with my family (starting today) 

So that is my little reminder from me to you today  

Love Tori

P.S. The crystal I have been using every day this week is Selenite 

It is said to be the perfect crystal to cleanse ourselves, our environment and other crystals as it is said to quickly unblock and remove any negative or stagnant energy
It also evokes a calming energy to bring deep peace and mental clarity.

I move it around my aura field to cleanse my energy
I keep my other crystals on it to cleanse them
and have one in every room to keep the energy clear and uplifted

If you feel like this is a crystal you need in your life you can find them in the YinMama shop Happy cleansing!

To all dreamers out there… ”The world needs that special gift that only you have” - Marie Forleo

So whether it's dreaming about creating a family, being the best mother possible, finding a new partner, traveling the world or turning a passion into a business… please know that you can.

My advice would just be to make sure you know why you want it, and know it takes patience, presence and kindness. Do it with joy and surround yourself with people that help you shine your light.

Because there are always going to be people who say you can’t do something. Who raise eyebrows the moment you step out of the mould. Who say to your face that “its cool you're trying, but I don't think you’ll be successful”

But please know that anything anyone ever says to you, they’re speaking from their own experiences. Their fears. It has nothing to do with you.

2,5 years ago I wasn’t on instagram and had barely touched a camera. I had never written anything other than school essays and had no idea how to create a product or run a business. Trust me - you can learn anything.

We all have expanders - people we look up to who we wish we could be more like or do something similar. Wanna know a secret? The reason you look up to them is because something in you is telling you that you can too. You have those gifts, you just need to remember and take the necessary action to create it for yourself.

2,5 years ago I had someone help me understand and see my own gifts and talents, something I will be forever grateful for. I had an idea, a vision for what I wanted to create, and since they already had a business, we decided to team up. We started a new business together and I worked by butt off for weeks and weeks, learning and turning my idea into a physical product. I quit my job and went all in.

2 weeks later they changed their mind and wanted out. That was ok. Remember you are always allowed to change your mind, at anytime for any reason. And honestly I panicked for about a day, but I had a feeling deep down that things were happening just as they were meant too...

After having treated so many patients for symptoms of stress while working 6 years as an acupuncturist, I wanted to create something that would help women find more time and space for calm and balance in their lives, and so the blog YinMama was born. I spent 2 years learning all about business, photography, and created an online course (which opens once a year now). So much work, but oh so much fun.

When covid-19 broke out and we all went into lock down, I think many of us were forced to face some fears. To look at old patterns and make necessary changes to how we are living our lives…

And the thing that came up for me? Feeling stuck. Like I wasn’t moving forward because something was missing. I realised I had blocked a large part of me - creating the products that I started my journey doing in the first place, products I know will help so many create more calm in their busy everyday lives. Fear and shame will do that to you... Worrying if you can do it alone, what people will think and believing the hurtful things that someone might have once said.

Im sharing this because there is one thing that shame and fear can’t take… the light. In sharing my own fears and the journey from then to now, Im hoping it can inspire someone else to follow their dream. To follow that voice inside that says “hmm, maybe I can…”

Because regardless of what someone else’s opinion of you may be or of what they believe you should or shouldn't be doing, it doesn’t matter because it's their opinion and has nothing to do with you. Don’t dim your light just because someone else doesn’t understand. As Lisa Nichols would say, “If someone else can’t handle your light, then honey hand them some shades”. Be true and you do you. 

My heart and soul goes into everything I create, and tomorrow I am so excited to be sharing the YinMama Calm and Care Collection with you!

Love

In a world that is so busy going, being doing and achieving (yang) - taking moments to rest, nurture, love and care for yourself is an act of courage. I call these moments of yin. Time for you to be. to tune in. to connect with yourself, with those you love and what you love to do. Our society isn't really built to allow for these moments so we need to create space for them ourselves.

Sometimes it takes a little planning, other times it is just about being present in the moment. Looking up at the sky. Listening to the birds. Putting your phone away and simply looking into the eyes of those you care about. Making the space around you beautiful. Taking a few deep belly breaths. 

When I read the beautiful book Pihl I hjertet by Camilla Pihl, a Norwegian blogger, model and designer, I was in awe of how beautifully she describes how it isn't really about finding the one quick fix thing you need to do, but rather about taking small moments throughout your day that will lead to healing and joy.

Jeg testet ut alle tenkelige behandlingsmetoder. Jeg leste alt jeg kom over av selv-hjelps bøker. Jeg prøvde alt mellom himmel og jord, på jakt etter en enkel of effektiv løsning. En hestekur. Men jeg fant den ikke. Det sies at det ikke er de store traumene som tar knekken på oss mennesker, men at det som setter oss ut av spill er de mange små tingene. Den jevne strømmen av hverdags motstand. Plastposen hvor håndtaket ryker på vei hjem fra butikken. Mobilen som ringer, men som du ikke klarer å finne i vesken. De fire røde lysene på rad. 

Etter mange måneder med prøving og feiling, innså jeg at om der var de små banale øyeblikkene av motstand som tok knekken på oss. Kanskje også løsningen lå der? Kanskje det ikke fantes noe enkelt svar, eller èn vidunderkur. Kanskje løsningen lå i de enkle o banale øyeblikkene. At det var bittesmå daglige endringer som skulle til, istedenfor en enkel stor? Små ting, som ga en jevn strøm av små gleder. Blaff av lykke, oppi alt stresset og kaoset.

- Pihl i Hjertet, Camilla Pihl

A beautiful book I really recommend you read (if you speak Norwegian). Let this be a reminder to take moments throughout your day, because that is where the true healing and joy can take place. 

Love

To do lists are great. But they can also easily create overwhelm when we put anything and everything we could possibly think of that needs doing sometime this week, month or year on them. And as the never ending to do list grows - because lets face it, for every item you tick off is quickly replaced with another one of four more items which can leave us feeling easily stressed and overwhelmed by all that "needs" to be done. So today I want to share a little 3 step process that I have personally found to be very useful when creating a to do list. I love to do this first thing Monday morning as it helps me organise and get clear on what I am doing that week. 

1. Do a brain dump. Basically write your never ending to do list - get all your thoughts out on a piece of paper. What this can do is help to clear your mind and create space for you to evaluate what is important now, and what can wait. And quite often it's a lot of the same thoughts going around and around in you mind making them seem a lot more pressing, complicated or stressful than what they perhaps really need to be. So get it all out on paper. 

2. Look at your piece of paper and divide them into different categories using coloured markers: So blue could be for work, yellow for family/home and pink for personal... Then one by one I look at each category and give it a number of importance (and simply scratching out anything that isn't necessary or needing to be done anytime soon...) 

3. Get out you planner or a new piece of paper to write your to do list for the week. Now be ruthless with what you actually allow to be on this list and realistic about how much time it may take. I only add the top 3 that are most important or pressing for each category (depending on how large a task they are of course). You can keep the other list near by as a reminder for next week, but instead of then feeling like you need to tackle the a whole world in a day (which is just overwhelming for anyone), you can have a clear focus and feel great when you tick each item off. You may even feel so motivated and on top of things that you tackle a few of the other items on your brain dump too, which is a bonus!

Hop this helps and please remember to put plenty of self-care on your personal to do list!

Love

Hi beautiful you.

I hope you're enjoying a wonderful last day of easter and I apologies for this blog post being a few days late this week. I took my own advice and spent quite a few days simply being present with my family. Our days have been filled with baking, drawing, painting, walks in the forrest, watching movies, snuggling and simply just being together. I have also made sure to get some me-time and self-care in (yoga , meditation and long baths being a must) to prevent me from going stir crazy! (Pictures below pretty much sums it up)

But today I really wanted to drop in and share with you 5 little reminders and things that I believe that we can all do to embrace this strange time that we are in. So here goes. 

1. Embrace the stillness. the unknowing. the Yin. 

On many levels I think that we all needed this. Not the actual virus of course! But being forced to slow down. To actually be present and with the people closest to us. See in Chinese medicine we talk about yin and yang and how there must always be a balance between the two. Yang is the active, going, doing, pushing and achieving. Yin is the opposite - the calm, quiet, slowing down, appreciating, reflecting and tuning in. The way our society is built, there isn't time or space for yin. 

"In a world that is busy, achieving, moving and accomplishing, rest is an act of courage" -Tory Eletto

And so I believe that this is mother natures way of creating balance and forcing us to slow down and tune in. We need more Yin (which is why I named my blog YinMama) in order to have balance within ourselves, in nature and in life. So let us try to embrace the not knowing and try to appreciate the time of yin that we are in right now. 

2. Ask yourself; what and how can I heal during this?  

See I believe that in any circumstance, we have a choice in how we allow it to affect us. We can give in to the collective fear, excessively monitor the news and stress about buying enough toilet rolls (which is ok too). Or we can choose to be curious and challenge ourselves to look out our own fears and insecurities (which may be related to the virus or perhaps something different entirely). We can sit in the uncertainty of not really knowing, and choose to actively release the fear and find the calm within ourselves. Sure we want to numb out sometimes and avoid actually feeling all the uncomfortableness, but if we dare to look at it with curiosity, without allowing the fear to swallow us, I believe this time can be a great time of healing for many of us. 

It has perhaps taken me until yesterday to realise that the past few weeks have been very healing for me as it has in a way given me a "second chance" to stay home with my son. See I loved becoming a mother but honestly, I also really struggled the first year (the colic and severe sleep deprivation was rough...). But spending this time together without really knowing how for how long, has given me so much room to reflect and heal the past, to connect and find so much joy in the present moment, and so I find myself feeling so grateful. Which brings me to reminder number 3...

3. Practice gratitude 

It is ok to feel: Frustrated, Happy, Sad, Grateful, Anxious, Calm, Confused, Relieved, Tired, Energised or (Insert any other emotion here...). Accept the strangeness of the situation and allow yourself to feel it all.. but choose to always circle back to gratitude. See choosing to focus on the positive in our life and showing appreciation for all that we are and have, is possibly the fastest, simplest and most powerful way of improving our own well-being and happiness.

Research suggests that feeling grateful can help reduce stress, improve our mental and physical health, increase empathy, ease depression, improve our relationships and foster long-term happiness. All pretty good reasons for making it a part of our daily lives! So take a moment in the morning and evening to think about or write down all that you are grateful for. 

"When you trade you're expectations for appreciation, you're whole world changes in an instant" - Tony Robbins

4. Make time for me-time and self-care

So Important. Do more of what brings you joy and calm. (Here is a little list of ideas taken from my instagram, but the social one needs to be adjusted a bit):

5. Be kind and notice the little things

This is a strange time for all of us and having watched way too many romantic comedies and Disney films myself, i can't help but quote Cinderella; Have courage and be kind. Remember to be kind to yourself and others. Focus on the things you can control and choose to do things that light you up and bring you joy and calm. Look up at the sky and breathe the fresh air. Listen to the birds and try to embrace the stillness of not being able to do much.. (such a contrast to our usual busy lives..). Be present and mindful, take care of yourself and loved ones, and embrace this much needed time of yin. 

I hope you have a wonderful day and week, sending so much love

At yesterdays yoga class my teacher talked about change and the importance of going with the flow, and it got me thinking...

So often we resist change and hold on to something so tight. Perhaps because it feels so good we don't want things to change. other times it is out of fear of what might happen if we do change course, let go and try something new...

It's human nature to want to feel safe and our mind will do almost anything to keep us in our comfort zone. But the truth is; you don't grow when you're comfortable and life is all about flowing with it, embracing change and accepting (although it is oh so hard sometimes) that things, experiences and people come and go. We can either flow with it, adapt and learn. or resist. 

The latter will really only cause stagnation and keep us feeling stuck.

We spend so much time clinging to the past and planning/trying to secure the future... when life is happening in the present moment.

So be willing to look at what no longer feels "right" to you or in alignment right now, and be open to change. Be curious.

Try to see challenges as an opportunity to learn, grow and to discover new things about yourself and other people in your life. Be kind and patient with yourself and try to trust that the universe (or God or Mother Nature or something greater than you) has your back and that by letting go of something, you may receive something so much better than you could ever have imagined.

I have found this to be so true again and again. And I recently found myself completely stuck because I couldn't bear to let go of something I had worked so hard on! (just a tip; if you have to push and struggle and force something that isn't bringing you joy and peace over time in the process. it may be time to re-consider what you're doing and spending your valuable time and energy on. At least that's how I know I'm not in alignment). 

But the moment I accepted it, embraced the change and decided to go with the flow by letting it go (trusting it would all work out), it felt so freeing. And in this space came clarity and being able to see the bigger picture. I was then able to take a step in a new direction-one that felt energising, exciting and so much better than what I was clinging on too.

Because in this acceptance you may find that the exact answers you're seeking just come to you naturally because you allow things to flow.

Change can be scary so be kind and patient with yourself. And remember that the saying "it takes a village" is true in so many ways. You don't need to do everything on your own and it's ok to ask for support when feeling stuck. 

I hope this email helps you in some way wherever you are now, and I encourage you to check in with yourself and be curious. Where are you pushing and resisting, and where can you learn, grow and flow with change ?

Have a wonderful day! 

Love

So often we overcommit.

But if you're feeling stressed or tired, doing more is not the answer. Take a step back and re-evaluate what you're doing and what is important to you. Here are my top tips for creating more time and space for you to be you, to say yes to not overcommiting.  

Be ruthless with your to do list. Prioritise and only put what is absolutely necessary. I aim to only put 3 items a day on my to do list. That way I feel great when I tick them all off! (instead of feeling like I somehow failed when all 25 things didn't get done that realistically would probably take me a month to do anyhow...)

Only say yes to the things you really need to do and want to do. Don't people please or do something just because you feel you should. if it doesn't feel right, say no (nicely)

Leave gaps throughout your day to just be. to breathe. or to catch up on the things that you needed to do but didn't get done...

And remember it's ok to change your mind. You're allowed to change your mind. You're allowed to take a step back, question and re-evaluate. 

Be kind to yourself. Do less of what depletes you and say yes to more of the things that energises you.

What are you say yes to right now that doesn't feel in alignment? how can you (gently) choose to say yes to yourself today and to what truly matters?

Have a wonderful day, Love

On Monday morning I woke up feeling rushed, frustrated and like I was somehow behind on my very long to do list for today (despite it only being 7am)...

I wanted to just ignore these feelings and push through, despite feeling a huge resistance that only made me more irritable. I wanted to get on with this crappy Monday, feel a little sorry for myself and start afresh tomorrow... 

We all have days like this where things feel well, a little off... But remember that we can, in any given moment, choose to change how we feel! It just takes a little inspired action and a willingness to do so... The key word here being inspired as ignoring these feelings and pushing through will only really create more tension. 

So today I want to share with you the 4 things I did to turn my day right around! that I hope can inspire you the next time you find yourself feeling the way I did on Monday morning. 

1. I stopped for a moment to acknowledge and accept how I was feeling.

2. Then I made a quick list of what I actually needed to focus on today and which things I could simply remove because they weren't urgent. Reminding myself that doing anything with frustrated or pushy energy wouldn't be beneficial anyway and accepting that not everything has to happen today (something I'm currently working on - patience), helps to release some of the pressure. 

3. I went to my favourite yoga class. Sounds idyllic but the resistance I felt as I was going through this Monday morning flow was unbearable at times. I was fighting the need to let go, of surrendering to the present moment and of tuning in to myself and accepting these feelings... It was only towards the end of the class during savasana (relaxation) that I actually felt all these feelings release.

Now I know that not everyone has the same flexibility, but frustration and stress is only stagnated energy in the body and movement moves this energy. So what is something you can do to move your energy while also tuning in to how you're feeling? 15min of stretching while your kids have breakfast or choosing to walk/bike to work with the intention of accepting and letting it all go, can have the same benefit as a morning yoga class. This is perhaps the only place you should push through the resistance of wanting to move your body, but doing so gently could be exactly what you need to help yourself out of the funk. 

4. I simply chose to smile and try to release all need to control whatever happens today. To let things be. To flow with whatever happens instead of pushing and creating more resistance. In doing so, I turned my day around and had the best most productive Monday ever.

Knowing that you can change how you feel in any given moment by taking a few simple action steps like moving your body and shifting your focus, can be extremely empowering. So I hope that your day is wonderful regardless of how it started, and that you choose to smile and be grateful for where you are in this exact moment (or try the steps above to shift your focus to feeling your best today...).

Love

My last blog post this year is to encourage you to spend some time reflecting on the past year and decade that's been, and to set come clear goals and intentions for the year and decade to come. 

We are all so busy moving forward that if we never pause to look back and be proud of what we are doing or let go of the emotional stress that we all experience, then we carry the heavy stuff with us and miss the magic of who and what we truly are.

And if we dont take a moment to re-assess what we are spending our precious time doing or the direction in which we are going, we may wake up one day to find ourselves in a very different place than we perhaps want to be. Only when we have a clear intention or goal for what we really want can we take the small but necessary daily actions to create the exact life we want. 

Make the effort to take some time before new year to ask yourself these questions; (I would recommend writing the answers down twice- one for the past year and once again to cover the past decade). 

Reflection

1. What am I most proud of and grateful for having done/achieved/experienced?
2. and why does this matter? what good has this brought me? 
3. Who am I most grateful for to have in my life?
4. What challenges did I experience and what/how did I learn from them?
5. What do I want to forgive myself (and other people) for? 
6. What (and maybe who) do I want to let go of in order to live my best life moving forward?
7. What limiting beliefs are holding me back from being the person and living the life I really want?
8. What is one word I would use to describe 2019 and the past decade?

Intention

1. What do I want more of and how do I want to feel in 2020? 
2. What are my top 3 most important goals for the next 12 months? 
3. What strengths/habits do I need to work on to achieve these 3 goals? 
4. Imagine your 10 years older, its 2030 and you're giving yourself advice. what would future you say to yourself? (we have so much inner wisdom and intuition and I want you to tap into it). 
5. What is my word for 2020? (that describes want to feel/have/achieve/be)

 I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and remember to take som time to care for yourself. 

Love