As the holidays approach and never ending to do lists can take up quite a bit of brain energy, its easy to find yourself feeling overwhelmed...  

Sometimes we may not even realise that we are overwhelmed so symptoms to look for are; being unable to make a descision, doing a million things at once but not actually finishing anything, feeling frazzled, rapid mood swings and snapping at those around you.

We all feel it sometimes so today I want to share the 3 things I do whenever I find myself feeling stressed or overwhelmed...

As busy mamas, it isn't always easy to find the time for self-care. But in this video I demonstrate my own version of the best selling author Stephen Covey's "Big Rocks First" Method. We all have the same amount of hours in a day, but how we utilise those hours can be very different... The big rocks method (in this case smoothie ingredients) shows how when you prioritise the time you have in the right way, no matter how busy you are, you will always have time for self-care... 

Click play and enjoy, Love 

I watched a ted talk this morning by Susan Cain, author of the best selling book Quiet; The power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking. 

She was talking about how our society today, our school systems, the way many work places are run, are all designed to make us more outgoing, more collaborative, more extroverted because we learn as we grow up that taking action, being outgoing, loud and busy is the way to succeed in life. And so people who are naturally more introverted or highly sensitive may feel pushed to be and do more more than what feels natural to them, because if not we somehow believe that we are "failing" or not being or doing enough... 

So if you're an extrovert, fantastic. Be an extrovert and to be honest (although I think everyone needs more Yin in their life to tune-in, relax, nurture and care for themselves), my blog may not quite resonate with you because you may not have the same need for calm in your life. But if you're an introvert or ambivert like me (someone who is social and enjoys being an extrovert but needs a lot of me-time to re-charge), then I want to encourage you to allow yourself the time and space that you need to be you. 

It also go me thinking about how I can better support my son because he is an introvert who enjoys time to just sit and play or read quietly beside us after a long day playing at nursery. Sometimes I feel we "should" be doing this or that because it's expected or what the neighbours or our friends are doing. But he is happy so why would I push him to do something that isn't him? I think that if we can learn to respect our own needs as an individual and as a family, we create much less stress in our lives and we are naturally supporting the truth of who we really are. And as Susan says in her talk, often the greatest insights, ideas and solutions come when we tune in to ourselves, sit with our own thoughts and calm the noise around us... 

So what are you doing today (this could be your job, your hobbies, social settings) that you do because somehow along the way you believed that this is what you "should" be doing? What do you want to do more or less of in your life to support who you really are?

Love & Light

P.S. Here is a link to the Ted Talk if you want to watch something very inspiring; 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0KYU2j0TM4

I came across a beautiful poem by @tessguinery on instagram that I found to be so beautiful and inspiring. It reminded me that it's ok to be honest and real, to go slow and care for yourself also. I hope you like it as much as I do. 

If I choose to always grow,
maybe she will bloom like a wildflower.
If I make art from my everyday,
she too, will create her days full of colour.
If I let my tears fall and always when they need,
perhaps she’ll water the earth with an open heart.
If I’m clumsy-crazy and all about her Dad,
a beautiful-crazy-love is what her heart will search for.
If I let him forever romance me in the wake of day,
she will forever know no less.
If I say “I’m sorry”—even when it’s hard,
maybe she’ll be quick to forgive others.
If I choose to speak life in vibrant and rich colours,
let beige words never settle in her heart.
If I leave pretty love-notes, handwritten on every wall,
affirmations will line the depth of her soul.
If I choose the uncomfy and forever shake up my ways,
maybe she too, will stand to live life bold & brave.
If I take time to be alone & make dreaming paramount to my week,
she’ll learn solitude is important and a golden gift to seek.
If I look in the mirror and speak kind and gentle words,
she too, will forever know her worth.
If I fill our house with flowers, music & sweet loving scents,
maybe the silhouette of home will always be warmth.
If our front door is always open to those who are in need,
she’ll learn the golden purpose of life.
If I pray out loud and have real conversations with God,
maybe she’ll move mountains with her voice.
If I tell her I love her a million times a day,
maybe, just maybe, she’ll learn:
that even in my flaws,
my lack,
and my mistakes,
I gave her my entire heart

- My motherhood monologue, by Tess Guinery

Love,

Choosing to focus on the positive in our life and showing appreciation for all that we are and have, is possibly the fastest, simplest and most powerful way of improving our own well-being and happiness.

Research suggests that feeling grateful can help reduce stress, improve our mental and physical health, increase empathy, ease depression, improve our relationships and foster long-term happiness. All pretty good reasons for making it a part of our daily lives!

"When you trade you're expectations for appreciation, you're whole world changes in an instant" - Tony Robbins

Here are my top 3 tips for making gratitude a daily habit: 

1. Decide to make it a priority to take a moment each day (or several throughout) to think or write down what you are grateful for. Personally, I like to start and end my day with thinking of 3 things I am grateful for before I get up in the morning and before I drift off to sleep... 

2. Write a gratitude list and put it on the fridge or start a gratitude journal. Write down what you are grateful for and read it often, especially if you're feeling down. 

3. Show appreciation for those you love daily, verbally and through gestures. Simple things like saying thank you and complementing your family members and friends for all that they are and do daily. It's easy to get wrapped up in busy schedules and take the people we love for granted...

Cultivating gratitude daily challenges you to think of new things that you appreciate. It can be things like your family, friends and home, but also the little things that matter like the sun hitting your face as you breathe in the fresh fall air, or a cup of hot coffee you get to enjoy in peace before the whole world wakes up. 

It's impossible to feel anger, fear or worry when we are truly grateful - Tony Robbins

 What are you grateful for in this moment? Close your eyes and really feel it. 

Have a lovely day! Lots of love

When life is busy, it's so EASY to loose that precious balance and forget to prioritise moments to slow down, tune-in and care for ourselves.

"It takes courage to prioritise rest and play in a society that sees being busy and feeling exhaustion as a status symbol..." - Brenè Brown

For most of us, lack of balance often builds up so gradually that we don't even realise it until it has manifested itself as physical symptoms (stress, frustration, anxiety and exhaustion) or in our relationships (irritability, snapping and arguing). We can often feel like life is hard, stressful and overwhelming, with "no time" to spend quality time with those we love or the things we love to do! 

I've been burnt out before and had my fair share of ups and downs in the past which is why I'm so passionate about health, wellness and having balance in our lives. When i follow my own advice and do the things i know creates balance within myself and my life, things are amazing! But when i forget and neglect myself or the things I know I need to do (because im too busy or don't feel like it), things go downhill pretty fast. 

But see the universe has a way of doing that when she's trying to teach us something. First its a kind tap on the shoulder, a feeling of something not being quite right (but we often ignore it). Then she nudges and pushes us a little harder... And if we continue to ignore whatever is that is going on, she knocks your over the head and flips your life upside down so you're forced to deal with it. 

When life happens and we loose balance, we can see it as an opportunity to learn, grow and become even better versions of ourselves. We just need to sit with the uncomfortableness, accept it and create a new way moving forward. 

I'm so grateful to have my health, my family and close friends who love and support me everyday. But the internal work - loving and caring for myself so that i can truly show up in life as the person and mama i want to be today and moving forward, thats on me. So today i want to share with you some of the things that I've been doing recently to make sure I'm staying balanced. 

1. I'm prioritising extra time to tune-in with myself through meditation and yoga to connect, calm my mind and relax my body. 

2. I'm focusing on my Mindset and treating myself with love, kindness and understanding. We all make mistakes and no one is perfect. Accept it, let it go and move forward. This weeks mantra has been; "Do it with balance and joy, or not at all" 

3. Making sure i get enough rest & sleep. Long baths and early nights... As well as nourishing my body with healthy foods (and a little chocolate...)

4. Connection. Away with meaningless distractions (social media) and lots of giggles and fun with Matheo. Honest and open conversations with those i love. Always a little uncomfortable but oh so necessary to heal, move on and create even better relationships.

5. Nourishing my beautiful body with healthy foods (and a little chocolate...)

I've really been craving connecting with more like minded mamas - soul sisters really. So last week i reached out to a new mama i didn't know (the wife of one of my husbands colleagues) and asked her out for a coffee. We hit it off instantly and after 4 hours of chatting, I feel so grateful to have made a new friend. Sometimes we just need to get over the fear, get out there and take a chance (may it be friendships, dating or a new opportunity. It may just work out perfectly ;)

This turned in to a long blog post but i just wanted to remind you that sometimes the toughest weeks can be the most transformational as they push us to take the necessary action we need to take to feel more balanced, relaxed, present and happy within ourselves and in our lives. When we do the inner work, we also have so much more to give back to those we love! I hope that this can inspire and motivate you to stop, re-evaluate, tweak and move forward with balance beautiful mama...

Have a magical week. Love

IF YOU COULD ONLY WEAR ONE OUTFIT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE...

Hi Mama,

If you could suddenly only wear one outfit for the rest of your life, I'm guessing you would really cherish and look after that outfit, knowing it would need to last a lifetime... right? 

You wouldn’t put off mending it if there was suddenly a tear in the seem... you would sew it yourself or take it to a seamstress to get it fixed. You would probably wear an apron while cooking and perhaps a napkin while eating spaghetti sauce so not to get it dirty... and if you spilled something you would be quick to put it to soak or to get it dry cleaned. right? 

You would read the label carefully to make sure you were following the washing instructions and you would hang it up neatly, never tossing it on the floor or stuffing it in the laundry basket. Forgetting all about it until you suddenly desperately needed it again... Sure some days you might feel bored and tired of wearing that same outfit every single day, but you would find new creative ways to freshen it up. You could dress it up for a party, down for work and take it off to relax… 

I think we could all agree that if we could only wear one outfit for the rest of our life, we would take very good care of that outfit. Knowing it would be with you forever, you would accept it for being just as it is, make it your friend and start to really appreciate and grow to love this one beautiful outfit… 

Well, You only have one mind, one body and one life...

Yet so often we put ourselves last. We ignore the little signs that tells us we need some love and care. We don’t tune in to “read the label” of what our bodies are telling us. We stuff our own needs away, because we are too busy with other things and figure that “we will get to it later when we have time.…”

We forget to appreciate the beautiful body we have and instead talk ourselves down for every little flaw we see. We rarely invest time, money and energy into caring for and becoming our best selves, to grow and learn and flourish...

Over time we deplete our energy, giving so much to everything and everyone else in our life, that suddenly that beautiful outfit is worn out and in desperate need of love and mending...

Let's stop doing that.

There is only one you and you're mind, body and life is worth cherishing. So let's start really loving and caring for ourselves so that we last a lifetime. Let's cultivate a mindset that appreciates and loves ourselves. Let's get our priorities right and create time to care for ourselves and learn the positive daily habits that build ourselves up, leaving us feeling energised and happy, and at the same time feeling connected and calm within ourselves. Because when we feel this way, we can give so much more love to the people and things we care about in our life. 

This was a long way of saying - love and care for yourself beautiful mama. 

Love Tori

"Mama's gonna go have some me-time" has often been a sentenced uttered to my son whenever I've needed a moment to myself or I'm heading out the door. I do however know that the word me-time can have some negative associations - its somehow perceived as selfish. But Me-time doesn't mean Me First, it means Me also...

Life with kids can be busy, chaotic, stressful and exhausting at times, but it's really all about how we feel within ourselves and how we deal with those moments, that determine how we experience them. If we're feeling frustrated, exhausted and stressed, the everyday tasks of motherhood can certainly feel a lot harder.

I believe that when we take some time to tune-in, nourish, nurture and re-charge (however that may be for you), we can experience feeling more relaxed, present and happy within ourselves, and in turn have more to give back to those we love. A happy mama usually makes for a happy family...

So we all know that me-time is important, but how do we create the time for it in our busy everyday lives, and most importantly, deal with that mama guilt we all know too well... Here are 3 of my 3 top tips: 

1. DEALING WITH MAMA GUILT

It certainly isn't easy to walk out the door or spend some time doing something for yourself when your toddler is tugging at your leg, begging you to stay and play with him. So I think we first need to know what we need to do for ourselves to feel re-charged and happy, and then remind ourselves that it's in everyones best interest that you do take some time to yourself (while your kids are in the safe hands of someone they love and trust). 

Personally, I have really struggled with the mama guilt so my husband and I have had many talks on the importance of re-charging our batteries and that quality is always better than quantity. Spending 2 hours playing with my son, actually being present and relaxed, laughing and having fun, is much better for him (and me) than 3-4 hours where im constantly in my head, distracted and trying to multitask...

2. RE-THINK WHAT ME-TIME MEANS...

Although some days the idea of escaping to a retreat in Bali or a spending a whole day at the spa is very tempting, I do believe that its much more about taking MOMENTS out of our day for me-time. Waking up 15 minutes before you need to so you can have a long shower and enjoy a cup of tea in peace can do wonders. Also be mindful of how you spend your time. If you have 10 minutes to spare while your waiting for something or someone, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths instead of mindlessly scrolling social media. Shift your focus on what me-time is and take short moments to yourself throughout your day.

3. PRIORITISE

Look at your schedule and all the things you're saying yes to doing. In the end of the day, it's all about prioritising and sometimes you need to say no to something else so that you can say yes to yourself. 

I hope this inspires you to prioritise some much deserved me.time and to get creative and start creating moments of me-time throughout your day. 

 Lots of love

A mantra is a word, sentence or phrase that you repeat to yourself frequently. We use them a lot in yoga and meditation as it can help you stay in the present moment and shift your focus to how you want to think or feel. They're also great for training your mind to be more positive, confident and calm.

I like to use them as little reminders of how I want feel that day and in moments of stress or frustration. Like today when my toddler had his second mini meltdown before 7am and refused to put on his shoes... It was just one of those mornings where I needed to take a deep breath and remind myself to keep calm and just relax.

Mantras are only words so for them to actually have an impact, you need to say them with intention, feel it in your heart and even try to visualise whatever it is you want to feel. I simply close my eyes, breathe and repeat my mantra while imagining that I see myself however I want to feel or be. The more often you do it, the more you believe it!

So today I want to share with you a few of my favourite mantras; 

Whenever I feel anxious and like I need to control everything, I use the mantra;  "When I let go, I let love in"

When I don't feel like I'm doing or being enough; "I am doing my best and we are all learning"  or "I have enough, I do enough, I am enough" 

When I can't seem to stop thinking ahead and just be present; "Life is happening now, enjoy it"

And when I catch myself being negative or complaining, I like to remind myself of the quote I once read; "Did you have a bad day, or just a bad 5 minutes that you milked all day?"

 So pick your favourite quote or phrase (or use one of mine if you're stuck for ideas) and make it your own mantra. Write it down and place it somewhere (like the fridge, your mirror or workspace) where you can easily see it everyday and be reminded to think or say it out loud.

You are amazing, always enough and the best mama to your child(ren). In the everyday chaos that sometimes is motherhood, I think we all need a daily reminder. 

Lots of love

HAPPY CARDS WITH POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS

Cuteness overload! I recently purchased a box of Happy cards with positive affirmations and inspiring quotes that I have fallen in love with. Every morning, my son and I pick a new card and I leave it on my desk all day as a reminder to smile and relax.

These are by a Norwegian designer called Camilla Pihl and are currently only for sale in Norway and Sweden. However I have found two other options for you! 

Treasure Yourself Affirmation Cards by Miranda Kerr and How to Love Yourself Cards by Louise Hay.

Daily affirmation cards can be a great way to remind ourselves to be kind, loving, appreciative and generous towards ourselves and those we love.

Just a little tip for a bit of everyday magic.

 Lots of love